In 2016, I resolve…
1. To invent a new musical instrument, the saxotar, or maybe the guitaxophone, so I can join a rock and roll band and play two solos per song.
2. To watch a DVD that I own but haven’t seen, or read a book I own but haven’t read, or maybe listen to a CD I bought but haven’t heard, or even eat food I bought but haven’t eaten. (OK, maybe not the last one, depending on the freshness date.)
3. Or maybe just to build more shelves for media storage.
4. To call her up, a thousand times a day, and ask her if she’ll marry me in some old-fashioned way.
5. To create a meme so potent, it goes retroviral, not just viral. (Too soon?)
6. To re-lose the ten pounds you gained back after I lost them for you in 2012.
7. To actually reduce my use of the word “actually” in sentences. Hopefully, it will literally be the best improvement I could do for my writing.
This is my fifth set of resolutions, and they clearly have made me the man I am today. See past years’ editions at the tag resolutions.