It’s that time of year again when we imperfect humans attempt to make ourselves more perfect by resolving to do amazing, incredible, and noteworthy things. In that spirit, just before I head off for a well-deserved nap, I offer my resolutions. May you all be inspired by their perspicacity, whatever that is.
I hereby resolve:
… To learn Icelandic. ðs and þs are cool.
… Create a new art form using beer bottle caps, unused pasta, gossamer-like spder egg sacs, hope, and bunny tears.
… To not click on any link that OMG YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! AMAZING OMG!!!
… To focus more on squirrels.
… To get a license plate for my car to promote awareness of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. Mom said I should.
… To measure my weight loss in ounces, so that when I say I’ve lost “Thirty-two…” people get excited and applaud. Note that I will mumble the unit of measure.
… To reach age 53, or die trying.
P.S.: I’ve posted resolutions since 2012. To find past years, check the tag resolutions.