My 2015 New Year’s Resolutions

It’s that time of year again when we imperfect humans attempt to make ourselves more perfect by resolving to do amazing, incredible, and noteworthy things. In that spirit, just before I head off for a well-deserved nap, I offer my resolutions. May you all be inspired by their perspicacity, whatever that is.

I hereby resolve:

… To learn Icelandic. ðs and þs are cool.

… Create a new art form using beer bottle caps, unused pasta, gossamer-like spder egg sacs, hope, and bunny tears.

… To not click on any link that OMG YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! AMAZING OMG!!!

… To focus more on squirrels.

… To get a license plate for my car to promote awareness of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. Mom said I should.

… To measure my weight loss in ounces, so that when I say I’ve lost “Thirty-two…” people get excited and applaud. Note that I will mumble the unit of measure.

… To reach age 53, or die trying.

P.S.: I’ve posted resolutions since 2012. To find past years, check the tag resolutions.


About songdogmi

I'm a longhaired almost-hippie stuck in the inner suburbs of a major rust-belt metropolis who's thoughtful, creative, and kind of geeky. In exchange for a paycheck I run around in a cubicle maze most days. When I escape, I play music, hang out in coffee houses, dink around on the computer, take naps, and think I should be off in the woods somewhere. Every once in a while I get in my car and drive far, far away, though I've always come back so far.
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3 Responses to My 2015 New Year’s Resolutions

  1. I laughed all the way through, good luck on these Charlie!

  2. kishenehn says:

    Best resolutions ever! 🙂

  3. changeling72 says:

    I’ve been toying with learning Icelandic! I don’t suppose I ever will, but I read a course in (translated) Icelandic literature at uni and have been interested in the lit and the country/culture ever since.

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