Today marks eight months since my mother left us. I’m silently marking the one-year anniversaries of developments that led to her passing, such as her radiation treatments. This isn’t a terribly happy thing to be doing, though probably inevitable. I’ve been in a holding pattern since. I guess I thought, not that I’d get over her this fast, but I’d at least be doing more than three-hour naps and hours of websurfing every day. OK, some days I manage to go see some music. But I can’t really force things; if I don’t magically feel upbeat, I can’t seem to change that. I’m sure that’ll change someday. Maybe not for a while, though. Holidays, y’know.

I guess I’m sharing this because there’s not much else for me to say at the moment. Maybe this was a bad time for post-a-day month.


About songdogmi

I'm a longhaired almost-hippie stuck in the inner suburbs of a major rust-belt metropolis who's thoughtful, creative, and kind of geeky. In exchange for a paycheck I run around in a cubicle maze most days. When I escape, I play music, hang out in coffee houses, dink around on the computer, take naps, and think I should be off in the woods somewhere. Every once in a while I get in my car and drive far, far away, though I've always come back so far.
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12 Responses to

  1. Also the time of year in itself, quite aside of what it reminds you of.

    • songdogmi says:

      Yes. I like this time of year a lot, but it is full of change and decay. The declining light is no help, of course. It was very gray and drizzly here today, not happy weather at all.

  2. changeling72 says:

    Hopefully getting past the first holiday season and the first anniversary will help.

  3. Eat some cookies. Cookies help me through rough times.

  4. maxauburn says:

    The first year after such a loss is the worst. After that, it gets a bit better.

    You never really get over the loss- but you do get used to it.


  5. Anonymous says:

    Seconding what Max said. Grief has its own timetable and agenda. There are still some days with some loved ones when it feels as if they crossed just yesterday instead of years ago.

    You’re right–the dwindling light and impending holidays are of no help either.

    Please be gentle with yourself.


  6. jjfmi says:

    Many hugs to you, my friend… If you have any insight on dealing with such an event, please share. I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet.

    • songdogmi says:

      I wish I knew. I guess I’ve been just muddling through. I’m not sure that works best.

      My sister and I have gotten a bit closer. Our relationship is the best it’s been in years. I know you don’t have a sister, but you have your father and I know you’re close. That might help you, even if he’s still in Arizona.


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