I met my brother, finally, a week ago. Half-brother, technically: my father’s son by a different mother, nine years older than I. I’ve known of him since I was a kid, but neither of my parents wanted to talk about him, or bring him into our lives, I guess. Or maybe the relatives he lived with didn’t want that. A couple of years ago, his son got in touch with me via Facebook, and after a long time of me hemming and hawing, I met my nephew and then, finally, my sister and I went to dinner to meet our brother, along with his son, his son’s wife, and their son. (Six people in a booth at a family restaurant. Cozy.) Brother is a nice guy, they’re all cool people from what I can tell. Conversation had awkward moments and earnest moments. I have to say that in situations like this, having a 7-year-old around helps because you can always let him distract you. (Cute kid, he is.) Where things go from here, I don’t know. We don’t actually have much of a shared past, so we have to build something going forward. I hope it’s more than additional Christmas cards in December.
The main reason I’m writing about this, which is more personal than most things I write about here, is that it’s really the high point of the last month or so. I regret very much that all these decades passed and we never connected. It would’ve been nice if my parents could’ve been a bit more open about things, but it’s like … I dunno, I guess there was no way they were ever going to say anything. Yeah, I know it was the 1960s, but it’s not as if people didn’t have more than one marriage or had children from arrangements that weren’t the traditional ones. Even if they couldn’t say anything then, what about when Lisa and I were adults and “could handle” the truth? I have a lot of bad feelings about this, and no way to resolve it with the people who can actually answer for it. Everyone who could fill in details is gone. I guess all I’m doing now is venting (and not doing so very well, I fear).
It’ll work out somehow, someday. In the meantime, there are new people in my life, to some extent, and we have the present and the future.