1. I resolve to make no resolutions.
1.5. Wait… that’s a resolution. Crap. Well, I guess I’ll keep going.
2. I resolve to work up to bench pressing an actual bench.
3. I resolve to grow more hair … by using my mind.
4. I resolve to create a new genre of novel: The peace novel. (I typeset an awful lot of war novels in the last few years.)
5. I resolve to find out the formula behind either LJ’s “social capital” or Flickr’s “interestingness” — even if I have to go into The Matrix to do it.
6. I resolve to compose new aphorisms inspired by modern times, such as “A watched device never outputs” … and then copyright, trademark, and patent the hell out of them. Bet Benjamin Franklin wishes he did that, eh?
7. I resolve that this will be the year I finally complete my transcription of Gustav Mahler’s Das Lied von der Erde for untrained tenor and steel-string guitar. Or start it, maybe. Or at least listen to the original source.
8. I resolve to get someone to conduct a seance to meet my dead ancestors so I can slap them upside the head and yell “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????”
9. I resolve to discover whether there is life outside of the Internet by installing a web camera just outside my front door that I can watch from my desktop.