The last thing I remember was lying on the couch clicking the remote at the TV mindlessly, beginning to drift off to sleep. Then I woke up, needing a bathroom trip. I’m not all that gainly when I wake up and have to get right up. Somehow the remote had ended up on the floor, and I was stepping down on it, realizing what it was and then trying to not step on it, going off balance—oh no, the TV—
I expected to hear and feel a crash. Instead, I heard and felt a splash.
OK, suddenly I’m all wet, and a little yellow square guy yelled in a raspy voice “OH NO A SHARK!” and pointed at me!
I was totally confused. “No—wait—I’m only here to—” and here I turned to where I’d fallen from and said “Help?!”
“Oh, OK. Come on!” Bob said, totally relieved, and he scampered off to continue his adventure.
So great, now I’m in Bikini Bottom, and I’m a shark, and apparently I fell asleep just as I had clicked onto a SpongeBob SquarePants marathon. I’ve GOT to pay more attention when I’m clicking mindlessly.
Twenty minutes later, Bob’s adventure ended—I just muddled through, but they kind of liked a hapless shark in the cast. Can’t be too menacing, after all, we ain’t on Animal Planet. I smiled a lot, which was surprisingly hard to do. During the commercial break, the producer said he really liked that bit where I looked at he camera and went “Help?!” “Breaking the fourth wall, that’s good, kid,” he said. “Just don’t do it too often, though. Bob doesn’t like the others chewing the scenery.” Anyway, they just handed out the scripts for the next episode. Apparently I’m supposed to see the inside of Bob’s pineapple. And get stuck in the door. Hijinks ensue. (It actually says that in the episode summary.)
P.S. Come to find out, one of Bob’s friends is a squirrel. How can THAT work? I could see, I dunno, a rabbit….