I HEREBY RESOLVE IN 2012 TO…
Create a language that uses the 14 letters not used in the Hawai’ian language.
Master the gamelan.
Learn to love the Asian carp.
Invest in an independent coffeehouse, since it is well known what a lucrative retirement investment option such a thing is.
Work with my inner child so that he finally stops kicking the back of my chair.
Lose weight, specifically the ten pounds YOU have to lose.
Change my name to Metta World P… what? DAMMIT! Scratch that one.
Invent at least one word or phrase that ends up on the 2013 List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Misuse, Overuse and General Uselessness.
Continue to work toward world peace. And, when that fails, as it inevitably will, implement my plan for world domination. Involving independent coffee, of course.