Save me from Regis & Kelly!

I’m at my auto dealer getting the oil changed in the car. The plus side of the waiting room is, the wi-fi is great—I’m right under the router. The down side is, I’m also right under the television, and it’s tuned to Live with Regis & Kelly. I wish I’d brought my ear protection headphones; they block out lawn mower noise, so they’d block out Regis and Kelly too. I’m looking up every time I hear a door open, hoping that someone will say my car is ready and I don’t have to be tortured anymore. How do people watch morning TV, anyway?

They just had a “mystery guest” interview with someone who turned out to be basketball star Kobe Bryant. Regis asked if Kobe’s daughters loved Hannah Montana, and he said yes (apparently every girl does, right?) and Kelly followed up with “Well, you must be the tallest one there!” Um, DUH. Regis would be the tallest one at a Hannah Montana concert if Kobe wasn’t there. And Regis isn’t very tall. Then Regis had to remind Kobe how the Lakers collapsed in the NBA final, which I’m sure was a good interviewing move, too. I have to give Kobe credit, he handled it all well.

Now they have a musical guest. It’s Montgomery Gentry—they’re country, but at least they ain’t Regis & Kelly.

Edited to add, 10:05 a.m.: Now Martha Stewart is on the TV. I apparently have died and ended up in hell. Next time, I’m changing the oil myself.

Further edit (12:20 p.m.): I was released from, well, purgatory, really (hell would’ve had Will Farrell as guest on one of those shows) at around 11. In addition to the oil change, they had to fix a tire that had a nail in it. But otherwise the tires, after 57,000 miles, were still fine, amazingly enough. So off I went to the happy spot that is my workplace.


About songdogmi

I'm a longhaired almost-hippie stuck in the inner suburbs of a major rust-belt metropolis who's thoughtful, creative, and kind of geeky. In exchange for a paycheck I run around in a cubicle maze most days. When I escape, I play music, hang out in coffee houses, dink around on the computer, take naps, and think I should be off in the woods somewhere. Every once in a while I get in my car and drive far, far away, though I've always come back so far.
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4 Responses to Save me from Regis & Kelly!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Regis once again bails out of the show (like in his Joey Bishop days), now claiming he’s holding *Kelly Rippa* back!

    Still working on a potential campsite, as Hiawatha is coming up soon.


    • songdogmi says:

      The funny thing is, Joey Bishop’s name came up several times during the show. Coincidence? You be the judge.

      You could camp at your old office, if they hadn’t moved you from Magers* to Cohodas**. It’s not onsite but it was a lot closer. ***

      * Residence hall on north end of campus that was converted to faculty offices for a short while.
      ** Northern’s admin building across from the old Hardee’s
      *** I have a comment with footnotes. This is pathetically geeky.

  2. ferndalealex says:

    Look at it this way instead, in the words of Susan Ivanova (Babylon 5) “I’m paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.”

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